One Tucked Nerd

 

It shouldn’t feel awkward.  But it does.

Like the time I forgot pants at Applebee’s.  Hey, the sign said “No shirt, no shoes.”  They made NO mention of pants whatsoever!

Sorry I brought that up.  It’s the subject of a whole ‘nuther blog post.

I’m talking about shirts here.  To tuck or leave untucked, in particular.

For years I have fussed about this matter.

I’ve leaned to the more conservative “tucked” look most of my life.

As a youngster, I recall bounding through the house in tighty-whities, my t-shirt tucked neatly under the waistband.

 

In elementary school I remember confiding to my friend Jimmy, the three reasons why I thought Kay liked me.  They were…

#1-  I started wearing a belt.

#2-  I tucked in my shirt.

#3-  I listened to Bill Cosby albums.

(Yeah, I was a real ladies man ’bout the schoolyard!)

 

Anyhow, years passed and I continued tucking.

It didn’t matter the shirt…short-sleeve, long-sleeve…

collared or crew…tee, flannel or dress.

Everything was tucked, dammit.

Tucked into shorts, pants, sweats, pj’s–it didn’t matter.

In the 80’s I crammed overly-long shirt-tails into tight designer jeans.  

The fabric would bunch up around the waist making me look as though I had lumpy gallstones.

 

Today, the untucked look has never been more popular.   Very few guys tuck anything it seems.  And they look like lazy slobs.

There is even an untucked shirt maker called…wait for it…“Untuckit.”  (How original!)  Gosh how the laborers in foreign lands who sew these shirts must think we are sloppy dressers.

 

Not knowing the “rules” of tucking, I did some research.  (For THIS you did research?  Kidding, right?)

According to a website FashionBeans, there are three simple protocols to follow:

1.  Always tuck any sort of dress shirt.
2.   Never tuck a shirt with a straight bottom hem.
3.   Deciding whether a shirt needs tucked or not is based upon how much of a curve it has at the hem.

Well, I guess I am doing a few things wrong.  Then again, I didn’t know I had to be a fashion-physicist to determine curvature.

 

Best thing I found online was a comment by a Dad who said he tucks his shirts to avoid the breeze.

I understand his thinking too.  I am also not fond of a belly-breeze either.  

So I will continue to tuck away.

Me:  “C’mon family, get in the car.  We’re going to Applebee’s!”

Son:  “Dad?…Your pants?

Me:  “Oh right.”