Shecky Tremble (MS comedian)

 

NOTE:  For the first time since this blog began in 2009, My Odd Sock hands over the reigns to the up & coming MS comedian, Shecky Tremble.

The following is a transcript of Shecky’s recent performance at Gimp’s Comedy Club.  Let the show begin…..

 

Emcee:  “Welcome everyone to Gimps Comedy Club.  We have a special treat for you tonight.

Our headliner is a very funny MSer who has played clinics & rehab centers across the country.  Put your hands together and give a big Gimps welcome to Mr. Shecky Tremble!”…

 

(Smattering of applause.  Glasses clinking as audience drinking heavily)

 

Shecky:  “Thank you.  Thank you.  Great to be here.  Glad you could make it here tonight.  I’ll try to finish my set before you start to nod off!

That MS fatigue is something, huh?  I get tired changing my mind!

Phew, I just flew in from Vegas and boy are my legs jumpy!

I’ll tell ya, I would have been here sooner but I couldn’t find a disabled parking space!

Great club.  Great club.  Every seat here at Gimps is handicap-accessible.  So many ramps in this joint, the wait staff walks uphill all night!

Oh boy, multiple friggin sclerosis.

You have MS?  Yeah, we all do.  I’ve had MS a long, long time.

I’ve had it so long, when I was diagnosed it was only a seven-hole peg test!

I gotta tell ya, MS & I have been together so long–it’s more like MRS!

 

The doctor says the myelin sheath around my nerves is riddled with holes.  I said ‘Doc, if you think that’s bad you should see my underwear!’

Swiss cheese is more solid!  It’s like using a screen door to keep out the cold!

 

I’m walking slow.  Walking slow.  Yeah, you too?  If I walked any slower people would think I was a pole!  One time I stopped for a breather–next thing I knew, stapled to my chest was a sign for a garage sale!

 

Hey, how ’bout that vitamin D, huh?  We don’t have enough, right?

Got Milk?…..Apparently NOT!

Perfect excuse for a double scoop of ice cream!

D is the only vitamin to match my high school GPA!

My grades were so low I was on the dis-honor roll!”

 

Heckler:  ‘You Suck!’

Shecky:  “Thank you sir.  So does MS!

 

Oh boy, gotta take your MS drugs, right?

Speaking of…Tecfidera?…Ocrevus?…Gilenya?  Are these names of MS meds?…Or leftover Scrabble tiles?

 

Ever had an MRI?  Of course you have–that’s how you got in here!  People think They’re small spaces.  Heck, I’ve had smaller apartments!…Two bedroom townhouse, in fact!

And noisy.  If you think MRI’s are noisy, you should sleep next to my snoring wife!

The technician asked if I wanted to listen to music.  I said ‘Yeah, can you play Get Me Outta Here by the Hurry Up Boys?

And frankly, I didn’t know what would last longer–the MRI, or my bladder!

Oh, the bladder.  Yep, I hear you.  I pee so often I moved the La-Z-Boy into the bathroom!

I’m in the bathroom so much, our oldest daughter is named Charmin!

I pee so often, at my last birthday, we served urinal cake.”

(Thunderous applause as people make their way to restrooms)

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Time for my baclofen pill.  Good night!”