Words Escape Me

 

 

As an MSer, I get so caught up in listening to others say the wrong things to ME, I tend to forget when the shoe is on the other foot.

 

A person I know recently told me she has a brain tumor.

A brain tumor!

I was floored.  And didn’t know WHAT to say.

 

All I could think was “Don’t say anything stupid, Stupid.”

 

Not like the time another friend admitted he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

My witty response?….“Can you help me shake some cans of spray paint?”

 

(I am such an ass.)

 

Back to the female friend.

 

My melon spun like a top trying to think of something to say to her.  Something positive.  Yet reassuring.

I recalled several of the ridiculous comments from others made to me about MS…..

“You still look good.”  

“I can relate.”

 

“Everything happens for a reason.”

 

So I didn’t want to say anything to offend.

Anything like…“Your head LOOKS the same size.”

“Has your brain shrunk?”

Or…“That explains a bad hair day.”

 

I stammered out a weak question of “What’s the next course of treatment?”

I asked about her neurologist.  And basically just shut-up to be a sounding board.  Letting her talk.  And vent.

 

Eureka!  Finally there came the realization that I (and we) can relate to another’s unfortunate diagnosis.  

Whether it is MS, a brain tumor, cancer, Parkinson’s or any other dreaded ick, the shock of the DX is the same.  And if you have been through the process before—you can offer calm guidance to others just beginning their trek.

 

“Does aspirin help?”

“Maybe if you got a new pillow.”

“Try doing brain games like Sudoku.” 

 

Yeah, many times it is best to listen and not say anything at all.