Stop Me Before I Watch Again

 

There were the textbook signals.  

Loss of muscle control.  Erratic thought pattern.  Slurred speech.

Stroke? I wondered to myself.

Thankfully no.

It was the realization I had just wasted several hours of precious life watching tv’s TLC.

 

 

 

Yes, TLC, The Learning Channel.

The circus side-show act that went from only being seen in a shrouded tent…to becoming the broadcast staple of basic cable as television’s most addictive channel.

 

Where else can you see extremists, polygamists & nudists.  Fat people, little people & crazy people.  Hoarders, cougars & Duggars.

TLC is the place to learn about cheapskates, addicts & a dude with a 125-pound scrotum.  Whoa!

 

 

 

In a matter of minutes, a person watching TLC programming will feel brain cells crawling out the ears to plunge to death in a suicide dive to the floor below.

 

That numb feeling of paralysis is common with TLC viewers.

A slow heart rate followed by a lethargic urge to eat Little Debbie snack cakes. 

 

 

 

 

But TLC’s programming beckons you to watch more.

Drawing you in to become a comatose zombie willing to do the unthinkable.

 

I feel guilty watching these people & hearing their stories—yet I can’t look away.

 

By design TLC, The Learning Channel has become TLC, The Leering Channel.

 

Please.  Can someone stop be before I watch again?