Not So Holiday Gift Guide

 

 

Stuck for ideas for that hard-to-buy-for person on your list?

Well, not to worry as My Odd Sock has collected the “WTF Must-Not Haves.”

Gifts that everyone can do without.

Let’s get shopping……

 

 

 

What kid wouldn’t enjoy terrifying the family pet with this “Radio-controlled Piranha!

 

Playing with a carnivorous fish has never been this fun!

What’s next…the radio-controlled “Electric Eel?”

 

 

 

 

 

Kids are never too young to learn basic vandalism skills as Discovery Kids brings us the “Cardboard Color Me Playhouse.”

 

Yes, gangs are always in need of talented, young graffiti artists, and this toy brings the fun of desecration out of railroad yards & from under bridges, and puts it right in the family room!

 

Heck, even Mom has a ball ruining property values!

 

 

 

 

For just $29.99, wine lovers on your list will adore this “Automatic Wine Preserver.”

 

This handy unit keeps wine fresh and “fits most standard wine bottles.”

 

Wait, doesn’t a cork do the same damn thing?  And for a lot cheaper too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another popular children’s gift is a “Role Play Set.”

 

“Roll Play Sets?”  I’m confused.  Just over a month ago, weren’t these called “Halloween costumes?”

“Roll Play Sets” sounds like something from an adult novelty store!

“Josh, Daddy needs to borrow your fireman set to put out Mommy’s fire!”

 

 

 

 

At Toys’R Us, all “Cody Simpson” dolls are 40 percent off.

Now if I only knew who the hell Cody Simpson was, I’d be all right.  At least I know what he looks like.

I don’t understand the popularity of Cody’s hairstyle.

If you are a teen—it’s cool.  But if you are a middle-aged man—it’s a “comb-over.”

And quite a sense of fashion.  A hooded, denim jacket…with Khakis!

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s what every light sleeper needs….the “Bright Light Pillow!”

 

The colors guarantee to turn any teen’s room into looking like an opium den!

The “Bright Light Pillow” is the follow-up to the not-so-successful “Screaming Car Alarm Pillow!”

 

 

 

 

 

Discovery Kids checks in once again with a young poachers “Activity World Map.”

 

What better way to learn the geography of illegal trade than by tracking the natural habitats of endangered species!

Here, this young lad has taken a special interest in the Panda market of Southeast Asia.  (Powdered panda teeth are considered an aphrodisiac in Fiji.)

 

 

 

 

Drinkers on your list are sure to love the “Digital Alcohol Breath Checker.”

Circled in yellow is the real head-scratcher of this product….”For entertainment purposes only.”

What does that mean?  What are other purposes?

After drinking so much, you won’t be able to figure out how to use it anyway.  Wasted folks will be confused and blow into their cell phones, while trying to make a call on their “Breath Checker.”

“Strangest thing, Bill just called…sounds like he’s in a wind storm!”

 

 

 

 

Lastly, Walmart offers the outdoorsman the “Norelco Camouflage Electric Razor and Groomer.”

 

How many times I’ve been in the bush and wished for a way to groom myself and still remain hidden.

 

Norelco understands the mind-set of big game.  The elk will hear the hunter shaving, but will be unable to see the clean-cut killer because of the razor’s unique camouflaged design.

A must-have for any sportman who wants to look his best before gutting his deer!

 

 

 

That brings us to the end of this “Not So Holiday Gift Guide.”

Let us hope we have shared with you plenty of gift ideas to put under your tree this holiday season.

Happy shopping!