The MS Reality TV Show
Reality tv is everywhere. You can’t channel surf without finding a show about hoarders, brides-to-be, singers, dancers, models, fat people, ugly people, addicted people or people with odd habits.
Not to mention, every occupation now has its own show….chefs, bakers, truckers, loggers, tattoo artists and anyone who gets dirty on the job.
Almost every nuance has been covered by reality tv, except one…….disease.
We need entertainment for diseases!
Imagine “The Apprentice” when Donald Trump says to the person with leprosy….”You’re fired! And don’t forget your arm as you leave!”
OK, maybe not so much.
But why not a reality tv show featuring those of us with multiple sclerosis? It could be our way of showing the world the challenges we face each day.
Incorporating as many popular reality tv adjectives as we can, we could call it….
“Gimped: The Real Amazing America’s Next Top Extreme MS Survivor Star Idol…and Honey Boo Boo.” (I added her name for the annoying factor!)
Our day begins by trying to get out of bed with overwhelming muscle stiffness.
It is a battle of will between spasticity…and a full bladder.
“Eh, $%@#!!.”
He didn’t make it to the bathroom without dribbling.
Time to change the boxers!
The show continues as our MSer has breakfast, reads the newspaper and pops the morning Baclofen tab.
Better hit the head before getting started.
“Who put the seat down?” the MSer says as he bends over and….
“Aw, #%$@&!”
(Another accident—and another trip for clean undies!)
Before going to the store, our MSer notices his wheelchair has a flat tire.
Good thing he has a handy tire pump!
Back on a roll in no time.
Oops, forgetting his wallet, he trapes back into the house….
…but not before losing his balance.
His face meets berber.
(He falls so often, people think he uses “Carpet Fresh” as body talc!)
Quick pit stop at the men’s room……”$#?#@!, didn’t even make it through the doorway.”
(You see, the bladder has a mind of its own…thinking “Eh, I’m close enough…Open the flood gates!”)
Sure.
You know what that means.
Our MSer finally makes it to the store.
And all of the handicap parking spaces are occupied.
He parks, shops and returns to the car, bags in tow and opens the car’s back hatch.
Wheelchairs, rollators & canes, oh my!
“All this mobility crap, where am I gonna put my bags?”
Later that evening, our MSer almost forgets its “shot night.”
Not remembering where he did the last one, he plays a game of “Spin The Bottle.”
Getting ready for bed, another accident means our MSer goes to grab one last pair of drawers…..”$#@&?!, looks like I’m sleeping commando tonight!”
As our MSer tries to sleep between leg spasms, the show credits begin to roll, bringing an end to another episode of “Gimped: The Real Amazing America’s Next Top Extreme MS Survivor Star Idol…and Honey Boo Boo.”
Maybe its not such a great idea for a reality tv show.
But it can’t be any worse than what’s already on.
Who–who’s got the remote?
3 Replies to “The MS Reality TV Show”
I think you have a great idea. I’d actually like to have a cooking show! I’d call it “Cooking for Crips.” I’d show the audience all the easy ways to prepare food when you only have one working hand and legs that get tired with too much standing. There would need to be many commercial breaks, though, for all your trips to the loo!!
Thanks for the laugh!
Peace,
Muff
We could have our own version of “Fear Factor”. The challenges for the MSers could be…….going in an MRI machine, maybe throw in a few snakes…….giving yourself an injection, in the dark, in a room filled with roaches……taking Honey Boo Boo with you to your Doctor appointment……like you said for the annoying factor, and to boost the ratings. 🙂
Margaret,
Great ideas! You can be the “Executive Producer.”
Muff,
You got it…”Cooking for Crips with host Muff!”
(Glad I’m not the only one who does prep work & dishes while seated on a kitchen chair.)