Dog Daze

 

 

Some days I wrack my lesion-filled brain for a subject to write about here at My Odd Sock.

And other times, inspiration falls right into your lap!

 

Like it did recently as I was looking through one of those value flyer’s one gets in the mail.

There before my mono-browed eyes, was the strangest advertisement I had ever seen.

 

 

Here is the ad…..

 

Take a long look.  Draw it in…and together, let’s mine this ad for the “Steel Valley Spay Neuter Clinic” line by line for every bit of humor we can find, shall we?

 

First of all, the name of the business.  For those not familiar with the area…”Steel Valley” refers to the location of the clinic.  It is NOT what some might call the crotch of a dog-fighting Rottweiler!

 

They have performed “Over 14,000 successful spay neuter surgeries..”  (How many unsuccessful ones?)

Over 14,000 surgeries in barely five years of business?  My God, this sounds like the express line at Kroger!  Do you suppose they have of of those conveyor belts where the doctor stands there while the pets go past with legs spread?

 

Next, they feel it necessary to tell us this is “Affordable Veterinary Care.”  (Yes, we get that from the ad!)  Along with a picture of an adorable dog being demoralized by wearing rabbit ears.  This poor pooch has a two-inch gash on its privates from the surgery–and now its picture is being taken wearing rabbit ears.  It’s no wonder this dog will whiz on your car tires next chance it gets!

 

Go down a bit and you’ll see the clinic accepts Visa, Mastercard….and CASH.  (Great to see someone still accepts good ol U.S. tender!)

 

Below that is Steel Valley’s address followed by a landmark reference…”Next to Jib Jab Hot Dog Shoppe.”  That’s good to know, while Fluffy gets fixed, you can run next door and grab a coney!

I wonder if the Jib Jab Hot Dog Shoppe is like….”Hey thanks for the plug, but really, it’s not an appetizing connection.  Just leave us out next time.”

“Jib Jab,” really?  Sounds like a procedure being done next door at the Spay Neuter Clinic!

 

 

That brings us to the coupons at the bottom of the ad.  You can’t advertise in a value flyer without coupons, right? 

 The coupon on the left saves me “two dollars off any service.”  Geez, how cheap are their services?  I can save two bucks on a 12pak of Diet Coke at the local drug store!

While the coupon on the right gives my pet a “free toe nail trim with surgery.”  That’s nice, now my dog won’t be able to sit OR WALK!  (He’ll definitely be pissing on my car now!)

 

 

Well, I have mangled this ad enough.  I’m sure the Steel Valley Spay Neuter Clinic is a top-notch, professional organization, we’re just having fun with its advertisement!

 

Oh, one last thing before I sign off…..

 

 

“This is Bob Barker reminding you to help control the pet population.

Have your pet spayed or neutered today!”