My Odd Sock Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa,

Hope you are well.

I have been a good MSer this year.

Listed below are some things I would like for Christmas……

 

 

 

Soap-On-A-Rope-   It is amazing how many times the bar of soap slips from my hands during a shower.

I end up kicking the soap with the foot skills of a soccer player to get it into the proper position for me to bend over & pick it up.

My feet get cleaner than the rest of me!

 

 

Cane Tip-   Yes, the rubber end of my cane.  I walk so slow, yet the tip of my cane wears out so fast.  What gives?  I need something like a radial tip!  I even rotate it—twisting it around so it wears evenly.  How pathetic!

 

 

 

 

The Cure-   Not an MS cure.  “The Cure”, the band.

Seriously, I don’t anticipate a cure in my lifetime, I just hope for the sake of our kids they don’t have to go through what we do!

 

 

 

 

Velcro Shirt-   Santa, how ’bout a dress shirt with velcro fasteners, instead of buttons!

Cripes, the other day, it took me over 15 minutes to button a dress shirt.  When I was done–my hands & fumble-fingers were friggin exhausted!

 

 

“I’m Not Deaf–I Have MS” t-shirt-   Why do people talker louder & slower to me?  I am in a wheelchair–NOT on the short bus!

 

 

 

Fashionable Bowling Shoes-   Not to bowl in—to walk in!  Some good sliders.  I shuffle when I walk, so bowling shoes would work great! 

Most shoes grip the floor like cleats on a football field.

I end up doing so many face plants, the shine on my head is from floor wax!

 

 

 

All-Weather Rollator-   I would love a rollator that comes with a heated seat and anti-lock brakes for winter walking….

 

 

 

 

…yet, has a beverage cooler for those hot, summer days!

 

 

 

 

Bed Ejector-   Lately, getting out of bed has been difficult.  With full-body spasms & muscle tightness, I claw & scramble like a bug on its back.  A bed ejector would launch me to my wobbly feet!

 

 

 

G-Force Toilet Seat-   Exerting downward g-forces would make going potty so much easier!  (And make me feel like Tom Cruise in “Top Gun.”)  I gotta go, but I can’t…”Maverick, let’s do a barrel roll to get the flow started!”

 

 

 

 

Waist-band GPS-   Because you don’t know when—you might as well know where!

Pants with a built-in GPS would tell you where the nearest bathroom is located!

Guaranteed, you’ll never leave home without it!

 

 

So Santa, that is what I want for Christmas this year.

Please tell Rudolph and Mrs. Claus I said hi.  Thank you.

Your friend,

My Odd Sock

P.S.  I will leave cookies & milk for you!