Audio Earwax

You can’t watch TV without seeing a commercial for “Five Hour Energy,” the little bottle taken to increase your energy.

Well, here is a new product parody, written by My Odd Sock and produced by Tony Gialuca Productions, just click on the title at the end of this sentence to hear a :60 mp3 version of Three Hour Leg Cramp

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Bonus Nonsense:

“Eureka!”….”Stop the presses!”….”Watson, come here. I need you!”….and any other phrase that signifies a great new discovery…..

Cottonelle is asking you to “Experience the ripple effect,” the revolutionary tool in personal cleansing!

It’s just a matter of time before Cottonelle’s “Ripple effect” toilet paper becomes bigger than the Wright Brother’s second invention—the air-sick bag!

Why just the other day I remember saying to myself “I wish my toilet paper had a texture—like my potato chips!

Am I wiping with toilet paper? Or corduroy? (Wonder if wiping makes the same sound as walking in cords?….”Vft, vft, vft, vft, vft.”)

The ad says Cottonelle Clean Care TP is “Now 30% stronger”—yep, guaranteed to remove a layer of skin!

The ad continues “..with extra-absorbent ripples.” Sorry, but if you need that much absorbency, you don’t need toilet paper—you need Kaopectate!

Maybe just step into the shower when you are done!

“Cottonelle Clean Care Toilet Paper cares for you like no other roll.” Yes, they are the only ones offering a skin graft after each use!

Rippled toilet paper? I’ll pass. My regular Cottonelle works just fine.