From The Mailbox

 

 

Today’s mail contained the usual assortment of bills, magazines, flyers and junk mail.

But nestled between the folds, I discovered an advertisement that caused my head to tilt like puzzled canine.

 

 

 

It was an offer from a business called “Pet Lodge USA,” a self-described “hotel for pets.”

 

 

Pet Lodge USA is a pet kennel—but with upscale amenities such as indoor & outdoor play areas, climate controlled quarters and a 24 hour staff assistance.

It sounded very nice indeed as nothing but the best for our pets, right!

But what caught my eye was that Pet Lodge USA offered 4ft by 9ft “private pet suites”….Complete with TV’s!

TV’s?….Really?

I began to wonder….Cable or satellite?  Regular or HD?

Oh, my dog will be so happy to have control of the remote—if only he had opposable thumbs!

 

 

You gotta believe the lucky dog staying in the private pet suite would think it is pretty hot stuff.  Like its doggie-do doesn’t stink!

 

One can only imagine the conversation between two dogs meeting on the play area might go something like this……..

 

 

 

Bowser the beagle-   Hey Fifi, great to see you.  Looking good babe!

 

 

 

 

Fifi the poodle-   Oh hi Bowser.  You here again?

 

 

 

Bowser-   You know it.  This time I got an upgrade!  I’m in the private pet suite!

Fifi-   YOU?  In a suite?  Whose leg did YOU hump?

 

Bowser-   Fun-nee.  You know Fifs—I got all this room–just me and my TV.  Why don’t you stop by.  We could chat.  Drink a little water.  Chew some bones.  Sniff each other’s butts–just you and me.  What do ya say?

 

 

  

Fifi-   Hmm sorry.  I’m not that kind of dog.

 

Bowser-   Oh c’mon.  Don’t be shy.  I won’t bite.

 

 

Fifi-   No.

Bowser-   What are you worried about?  I’m clean.  I’ve had all my shots.  Had my heartworm pill.  I wi…

Fifi-   (Interrupting)  That’s not what I heard.  Word around the lodge is you gave Missy….fleas!

 

 

Bowser-   Hey, it wasn’t me!  Could have been any of those mutts she hangs with!  Besides, you know what they say about Missy….

Fifi-   What?

 

Bowser-   …She’s ALWAYS in heat!

 

Fifi-   (Appalled)  There you go spreading rumors.  You’re always sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong!

 

Bowser-   Hey I’m a beagle–that’s what I do.  Where you going?

Fifi-   I gotta go.  My owner’s here to take me home.

Bowser-   Well, sniff you later Fifi.

Fifi-   Go pee on a pole, loser.

 

 

OK, so maybe the conversation is all a figment of My Odd Sock’s imagination.

But who ever thought you could have this much fun with a piece of junk mail!