Brain Drain #14

 

 

It’s like emptying the dehumidifier.

Like clearing the lint trap.

Like flossing after corn-on-the-cob!

 

 

Let’s “Brain Drain” and declutter our frontal lobes of the unneeded, unnecessary excess nonsense of the day.

Shall we begin?

After you….

 

 

Shame Game

Quite possibly thee worst premise for a television show is the new CBS series “Same Name.”

“Same Name” searches the globe for an average Joe who shares the same name of a “celebrity.”  The two then switch places for a wacky day experiencing how the other half  lives.

The first episode featured  two David Hasselhoffs.  Next week stars two Mike Tysons…while the third program features two Kathy Griffins!  (Yes, do you feel the downhill free fall of viewers?)

Honestly, I’d rather have the lives of the ordinary folks!  The Community Calendar channel is more entertaining!

Watch this show if you dare–but don’t delay–it won’t be around long!

 

Next please…

 

 

Thirty Minutes Or Less

Domino’s Pizza recently unveiled its new technology known as Domino’s Pizza Tracker.

Domino’s website explains the theory of the Pizza Tracker as follows…”the delivery experts at Domino’s have specifically engineered the Tracker to keep you up to date on the status of your order.”

 

The Pizza Tracker then charts the progress of your order through a five-stage, color-coded bar graph of “Order Placed”, “Prep”, “Bake”,”Quality Check”, and “Out for Delivery.”

I ask, is this technology necessary?  I mean, I really only care that the person making my pie has washed their hands following their break!

My God, it took ten years to track Bin Laden…40 years to find D.B. Cooper.  Where was the Pizza Tracker through all that!

Let me wipe the sauce from my chin and move along…

 

 

Moron Improved

By now you have probably seen the new TV commercials for “Coors Super Cold Activation.”

I wrote about Coors’ first attempt at cold activation in an earlier Brain Drain…how one could tell the beer was cold by the change in color of the mountains on the label.

But now the brew-meisters in Golden, Colorado HAD to take this one step further by introducing the “Super-Cold” activator.

When your beer is cold, the upper bar changes color…but when your beer is “super-cold”, the lower bar changes color!

Really?

Hey Coors, what if I like my beer super-super cold?..Dry Ice cold?  Drinking liquid Nitrogen cold?  Like “the star formally known as the planet Pluto” cold?

Guess I’ll have to wait and see!

 

 

Celeb Look-Alikes

Finally, let us end this debacle with some fun, celebrity “twins.”

 

 

First, we have the Geico caveman.  This Jurassic gentleman has graced our TV screens for years.

But now the Geico caveman has evolved into his modern-day bloodline…..

 

 

…Glen & Mitchell.  The Guist brothers from the History Channel’s “Swamp People!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lastly, we have the lovable Orville Redenbacher, the light & fluffy King of popcorn.

May he rest in peace.

 

 

 

 

…And here we have Orville’s new soul brother…Dr. Neil Clark Warren, the oooey old guy behind the online dating service, eHarmony.com.

 

 

And with that, it is time to close.  Hope you have enjoyed Brain Drain #14.

Adios.