Television’s Dark Day

 

 

Humanity–you should be ashamed!

 

Hang your head as a million years of human evolution have been tossed in the garbage like a dirty paper towel.

 

 

 

In case you missed it, “Watson,” a specially designed computer, opened a major can of Silicon Valley whoop-ass on the TV game show “Jeopardy.”

 

 

In a three-day event called “The IBM Challenge,” Watson competed against Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter, two of Jeopardy’s greatest champions.

 

 

But it was an embarrassment for the mere-mortals from the opening question.

Watson rang in with a lightning-fast response that would make any X-Box playing teenager envious.  It rattled off correct answers like an AK-47…and collected cash winnings faster than Bernie Madoff.

 

 

On the human side, Ken & Brad, though trying their very best, were no match for the “Dominator” aka Watson.  Point blank, they were as bad as a Adam Sandler movie.

 

 

Meanwhile, all the pocket-protector “Teckies” in the audience cackled & cheered for the machine they created.  Proud as the Russian scientists who built “Drago” in the movie “Rocky IV,” they fail to see the looming bigger picture.

 

 

You see, this is just the beginning of Watson’s tyrannical game-show brow beating.

It begins with the friendly challenge on Jeopardy.  But then the evil machine’s appetite will grow as it devours contestants on “Wheel of Fortune.”

 

 

Next will be “Millionaire”…followed by “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader”…and “Family Feud”….all before setting its sights on, God forbid, “The Price Is Right.”

 

Like a hot knife through butter, Watson will have its way with games like Plinko, Hi-lo, Rat Race and Switcheroo….before disemboweling the competition in the “Showcase Showdown.”

 

Watson’s performance will traumatize host Drew Carey who will revert back to his old double-cheeseburger eating personality, eventually regaining all the weight he has lost.

 

Yes, this is just the beginning.

The monster has been unleashed.

We are all witnesses.

(And any other cheesy cliches you can think of.)

 

For what started as “The IBM Challenge” may soon become a sinister game-show champion leaving the rest of us inferior beings scratching & fighting over the meager parting gifts.

The human race……”Come on down!”