Gross Me Out

*Reader Warning*

The following silly, stupid text includes random topics that gross me out.  Please use discretion while stomaching your way through this post.  My sincere apologies to those who feel uneasy.

 

Everyone has specific things they find upsetting.

Sights, sounds, tastes, ect.

Some people cringe at paper cuts.  Others, at the thought of chewing aluminum foil.  While many shudder at fingernails on a blackboard.

What bothers you might not affect another person at all.

That’s the weird part about it.

Here are some things that really gross me out.

See if you agree…

 

Wash Your Face

Years ago, a few of us were sitting around when one guy, who just finished working a shift at a fast-food restaurant, took a card (credit card or drivers license) and used it to scrape the side of his face.

I happened to glance at the card and witnessed this runny, globulous, oily goo sludging its way down the edge.

It was perhaps the grossest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

 

 

*****

Got Your Back

It was 2nd grade in Mrs. Zook’s class.

In the row of student desks in front of mine, Scott Fisher was facing to his left talking with a classmate.

Scott had his back turned to Aaron Smith who was seated next to him.

All of a sudden Aaron lurched and projectile vomited down Scott Fisher’s back.

As a big-headed 7-year-old, I witnessed the whole mess in real time.  But lucky for me I was seated just outside the splash zone.

Sure, the vomit was gross, but the smell of the orange powder janitors used to spread around to clean up such disasters was even worse!

 

 

*****

Summer Pests

I’m not fond of the insects that glom onto our summer activities…mosquitoes & ticks, in particular.

I’m terrified of being bitten and getting West Nile Virus, Malaria, Dengue fever or whatever else these little beasts may spread.

Likewise, I’m disgusted by pictures of them doing their dirty work.  They couldn’t pay enough to have me pose while a blood-sucker drew a belly full.  Or, bury its head into my skin.  Ooo, that makes me nuts!

 

*****

This Little Piggy

My mother-in-law was sickened when commercials for toe-nail fungus came on tv.

The ads featured little yellowish evil-looking creatures who would flip up a toe nail and crawl underneath.

The spots were quite effective….but I gotta hand it to her, they were disturbing.  Where’s the remote?

 

 

*****

Hair Raising

Certain smells bother me.  You might figure they would as I have a nose the size of a Boeing.

The scent of burning hair turns my tummy.

Not like flaming locks, but simply the use of curling irons or hair straighteners.  It just doesn’t seem right cooking your hair.

Same with perm solutions.  Absolutely a terrible smell.

The things people do to look good.  IDK.

 

 

*****

Dr. Pimple Popper

You may be familiar with this tv show on TLC that follows a dermatologist through her routine day.

 

Man, I have never made it through an entire episode without having to look away.  This doctor extracts stuff from patient’s skin that would make Rob Zombie sqeamish.

Some folks love this show but I’m not one to poke.

 

 

*****

Care Down Under

What’s with all the attention being paid to our laps?

Seems every commercial on tv and online ads are about shaving……down there.

According to advertisers, we need to thatch our nether regions.  Razors, shavers, creams–they offer everything we need.

I can’t watch a game on television without being reminded I must attend to the pelt of my grundle.

Even worse, then they show us how it’s done.

Really?  Well unless it’s animation by Pixar–I ain’t watching!

Seriously, when did all this begin to be a self-care priority?

 

I don’t remember Fred Flintstone taking a clam shell to his privates before he was off to the stone quarry.

Maybe Barney did.  Which would explain why his eyes were mere circles.

Enough already, please.

 

*****

That’s it for me.  What is gross to you?  Spill it with a comment.  And together, we can vurp as one.