Brain Drain #29

 

It has been too long since I’ve written any dribble for this humor site…and even longer since I’ve posted a “Brain Drain.”

For those of you who are unfamiliar, “Brain Drain” is simply a post where I pull the plug on my cerebral cortex and empty out what has been a bug in my craw.

Ready?  Let’s get started…

 

First, how about a few tv commercials I am fed up with.

 

eHarmony.  Pimple popper.  Get who gets you.

 

The spot opens with a dude looking in a mirror at a huge zit on his shoulder.

Next his eHarmony match beckons him over so she can zap it with joy.

 

True love ensues afterward as he lays back into her blood, pus & all.  I’ve never been able to watch the full ad as I am grossed out and must look away before Mount Scapula erupts.

Who knew skin blemishes could attract a love interest!

If that were true- I could of been the Brad Pitt of backne.  The king of Phisoderm.  The crown prince of Clearasil.

Just think if the dude had a cold sore he might have hooked up with a super model.

Good luck to these to young lovers.  Keep eating greasy pizza, I guess.

 

Homes.com

This commercial campaign debuted last February during the Super Bowl and is still running to this day.  (Talk about milking a train wreck.)

Starring Dan Levy (“Schitt’s Creek”) and SNL’s Heidi Gardner, these ads leave me dazed & confused as they are painful to watch.

I don’t understand them.  I see no value in them.  And there is no way in hell they would motivate anyone to visit Homes.com.

In other words, a big campaign costing big bucks…and has the fizz of a three-day old open can of Mt. Dew.

 

P.S.

Could someone help Jason Momoa with his T-Mobile cable?  The’ve been running the same commercial with Donald Faison & Zach Braff for-EVER!  I’d do a back-flip just to see a new ad.

 

Lastly, a couple of sleep products…

Side-sleepers (like me) take note–your shoulder pain is no more with this bed-hog contraption!…

 

You already share a bed with your partner…your children…and your pet, so now you gotta find room this THING?

What the hell–do I sleep with it or Greco-Roman wrestle it?

It looks like something advertised in the back of an adult magazine.

 

 

 

Yep, no shoulder pain for this guy.

But how do I de-tach when I have to pee at night?

I’d have to read the instructions how to go back to sleep.

In case of a flood, can it be used as a flotation device?

Fighter pilots aren’t this secure for combat.

 

Another new product for better sleep…Mouth tape

 

Yes, I kid you not.  People are taping their mouths shut to reduce snoring, allergies & bad breath (My breath is so bad you’d have to spot-weld my mouth shut) by forcing themselves to breathe through their nose.

I tried this once using double-faced tape.  When I rolled over my face stuck to the pillow and I nearly suffocated!

I just don’t know about this mouth tape–I think I would dream of being held hostage.  I couldn’t talk in my sleep.  My nose is always stuffy.  Plus, with your mouth taped how can you eat all the spiders that supposedly crawl into your mouth in a lifetime?

What else will they come up with to waste our money on?

That’s all I have for Brain Drain #29. (Aren’t you glad you missed the previous 28?  (Actually they are available by using the search feature!)

Thanks for visiting My Odd Sock.

Till next time.