Unfair Food

 

It is the culinary delights that draw me to our local fair each year.

Gyros.  Sausage sandwiches.  Funnel cakes.  Cheese curds.  Elephant ears.  All working together, churning my digestive tract worse than a ride on the Zipper.

Everyone has their own, go-to, chow-down fav.

Mine just happens to be….the unassuming, corn dog.

 

The corn dog.   A flash of weiner wisdom.   The wet dream of frankfurter fantasy.

 

Forward food-thinkers pooled their creativity to solve the timeless puzzle…”What can we do to improve the hot dog?”

     I know, let’s take a sub-par dog…

     Yes?

     …Dip it in a corn-based batter…

     Yes, then what?

     …And we deep-fry the whole concoction!…

     Mmm, but won’t we burn our fingers?

     …No, because we’ll put the dog on a stick.

     Eureka!!!

 

The corn dog has been the greatest innovation to the weiner experience since manufacturers decided to sell hot dogs in packs of ten…and buns in bags of eight.

It has been the conundrum that has frustrated backyard grillers for decades.

Some corn dog connoisseurs add a splash of mustard to their meal on a stick.  Others, ketchup.  But me?  I prefer to raw-dog it.  Sans any condiments.  Bareback.  Just corn.  And dog.

It’s my way of making sure I get the absolute LEAST of nutritional value!

In fact, it may be healthier if I ate the wood stick skewered through my tasty treat.

One of the best parts of the corn dog itself, is the crunchy batter fried to a tooth-chipping consistency at the base of the stick.

It definitely blurs the line between where the corn stops & the wood begins!

 

I got my corndogs…two for $3.  So you know I’m getting the best in quality AND value.

I devoured them in mere minutes.

Meanwhile, my gut flip-flops as though I just got off the Tilt-A-Whirl.  Or in this case, the Tilt-A-Hurl.

It’s all unfair food.

Take it from someone who also enjoys candy corn and circus peanuts.

Happy dining fair goers.