Is This It?

Is This It?

 

Well, is it?

Is this it?

What’s left?

Anything else?

Is that all?

What now?

These are just some of the questions you may find yourself asking when (or if) multiple sclerosis takes you away from something you love.

 

Your job.  Your favorite activity.  Hobby.  Passion.  Whatever.

It happens.  And it sucks.

Hit the showers.

You feel defeated.

Like a pitcher in baseball getting taken out of the game.

Only difference is he gets to come back and try again the next day.

You and I with MS?  Not so much.

 

I stepped away from the working world years ago.  One might assume by now I would have adjusted, filling the void, ya know.

But still there are days I struggle.  Struggle finding something of purpose to do.  Something to occupy my mind.  To burn nervous energy.  And to take up the time.

I do what I can but you can only clean the bathroom so often.  Swiffer the kitchen floor, maybe.

There’s gotta be something more, right?

I write this silly rag for something to do.  It’s fun (and cheaper than therapy) but I continue to have a yearning for what’s next.

Someone call the fire department!

 

 

(The Funny Meter is about to blow on this post!)

 

 

 

A feeling of emptiness is the part of MS acceptance I scuffle with the most.

As I said before, it’s not every day.  Just once in a while.

But when it hits–it’s like banging that particular spot of your elbow on a corner.

Dang, it hurts!

Have you shared this particular MS experience?  Have you asked similar questions?

Most importantly, what’s the answer?

How do you respond when your inner-self asks “Is this it?”

12 Replies to “Is This It?”

  1. Totally agree doug ask myself same question prob daily. Just try to keep myself going everyday. Even go back to PT to keep my core strong. Surround myself with my support team and do what I can do. Have a great day. Love you Doug 💜

    1. Joanne,
      That’s right…just keep going everyday…do what you can do. You got it!
      Thank you for sharing your outlook!

  2. Hell NO ! That’s my answer. I have no idea of what your experience is. I don’t have MS. My suggestion is to spend time reaching out to people that you have not talked to in quite a while. Reaffirming old friendships and possible gatherings. Road trip anyone ? Many of us are about to be retired (if not already) and may have the same questions. Is this it ? Hell NO !!!

    1. Dave,
      Positive response. Always thought you were pretty wise! That’s advice everyone can live by, MS or not. Appreciate you checking in!

  3. I ask myself this often. I can’t drive, can’t walk far and nearly everyone I know works so I am alone most days of the month. There are days when I feel sorry for myself, days that I blame others for my loneliness and days that I am immensely proud of how I handle my life.

    1. Tina,
      Your last sentence explains it perfectly. The range of an MSer’s feelings can go from one extreme to the other in a matter of hours (seems like even quicker!)
      Great way to sum it up! Thank you.

  4. I do not have enough fingers and toes to count all the things I miss, but driving is number one!
    I worked 32 years (was hoping to make it to 35 years to max out on the benefits) for the state of Florida before having to retire on disability. What’s weird, is when you work, you can’t wait to retire, and then when you are forced to retire due to disability, you wish you were back at work.

    1. Margaret,
      I hear ya, girl. I’m lucky to still be driving (with hand controls).
      Thanks for your comment. Always good to here your wisdom!

  5. I don’t struggle with this so much as I do/did when someone asked what I did for a living. That answer would send me to shreds. Never realized how much a job/career identified you, rightfully or wrongfully. I still struggle with that. I can say blogger but that’s not what they mean-they are getting at how do you pay your way. If you say I’m on SSDI they look at you like you’re a slacker, also wrongfully the a-holes. If I say, writer, they want to know where/what/how and expecting something big. I’m getting better at saying who cares what they think. I want to be able to start answering that question of What do you do for a living by saying “I rest.”

    1. Yvonne,
      Agreed, that question threw me off for a long while. Now folks just don’t ask.
      Some say they are ‘retired.’ I usually mumble something about disabled or I don’t work.
      I understand your point COMPLETELY! Thanks for being honest.

    1. Yvonne,
      You & I have talked about this before…how hard is to walk the fine line between humor & serious.
      Just sometimes I can make complete fun of MS…and other times I can’t joke about it at all. That’s when I use my stupid blog for a therapy session!
      Best to you!