Guzzle Gifts

 

 

Got a drinker on your gift list?

How about a bottle of wine from a local winery?

Some crafted beer from an area brewpub?

Or fine spirits from your state agency?

 

Then, head to Ollie’s to get your party started!

 

 

If you are not familiar, Ollie’s is a closeout retailer selling its wares at below market prices.

They use the tagline “Good Stuff Cheap.”

Which, according to Google Translator, means “Shit you don’t need for a low price.”

 

 

There’s even a caricature drawing of Ollie.

And from what he has to peddle in his stores, I assume he’s drinking a tall glass of Kaluha!

 

So, belly up and let’s shot…er, I mean, shop!

 

 

First, we have the “Bottoms Up Shot Spinner.”

“Great for parties” for sure!

Not so much when drinking alone…”Leave the arrow pointing at me, ya loser!”

 

 

There’s the popular “Drinking Roulette.”

“Includes shot glasses.”

At just six bucks, you can bet those are fine crystal.

 

“Shot Glass Tic Tac Toe.”

Because it is so ‘adult’ to add booze to a popular children’s game.

The ad says “Loser takes a shot!”  Well, what the hell does the winner get?  If that’s the rule, I’ll lose the game on purpose every time!

 

 

With all this drinking going on, you might need a “Phone Jail”….but for car keys!

No one’s driving home after this blow-out!

 

 

Finally, Ollie’s has the “Hands-Free Bottle Holder.”

“Holds any beverage!”…how about my dignity?

What do I do with my hands?…Grope the party host?  Only six bucks at Ollie’s…who’s selling it for $9.99..Macy’s?

Is that wet spot from your beer bottle…or crotch sweat?

 

This has been one heck-of-a party thanks to Ollie!

But from the picture, I can’t tell if these are supposed to be snowflakes or Ollie is lit on his ass!

 

All in good fun.

Ollie’s is a pretty cool store.  You’ll always find something there…and cheap too!

Enjoy the holidays.  And please drink responsibly.

P.S.  More “Good Stuff Cheap”…

 

Yes, nothing says you “work well with others”

better than desktop weaponry.

 

 

 

 

Good to know I can smell like a hormone-surging teenager for under a fiver.

 

 

Nice.

Camo lounge wear.

Where are you relaxing…in the bush?

 

 

 

And lastly, Summer Sausage.

Because I always shop a closeout retailer for my ‘cured meats.’