Button Holed

 

So many of my shirts come with extra buttons–but I’m not sure why.  I have never used any of them. 

They are always just there.  Hanging around. 

Riding the coattails (shirttails, in this case). 

Patiently waiting for their big break.  Their opportunity to show what they can do.  They are like a fastener under-study.   

The kid on the bench who never gets in the game.

 

The extra buttons spend their entire lives tucked away in trousers. 

Not seeing the light of day.  No purpose.  No direction.  No glory.

 

And my shirts come with not just one extra button.

Usually two.  Sometimes even three!

What does that say for quality?

If you need three extra buttons, maybe you should buy a different shirt.

If a car came with three spare tires wouldn’t you switch brands?

 

Again, I have never used an extra button…and for that I am thankful—because there is no way in hell to pry the spare from its vice-grip attachment.

It’s like the button is secured to the fabric via spot-weld.

If the buttons on a shirt were attached as firmly as the spares…I wouldn’t need the extras!

 

But let’s pretend I lost a button and decided to use one of the bench-warming back-ups.

Now I just need matching thread and a needle.

Good luck.

Who has a stash of Magenta thread?

 

Women’s fashions do it right.

They almost always come with an extra button & matching thread in a convenient Keebler-elf sized Ziplock bag.

But not guys clothing.

We’re forced to scavenge dental floss, carpet nap or belly fuzz…anything to fuse a button to a shirt.

That is, IF we have a needle. 

It would be so much easier if a shirt came with all three…the button, thread & needle.

Makes perfect sense too.  Not providing a needle is like a car having a spare tire–but no jack.

 

Eh, when I think about the situation, it’s just easier to avoid the entire button-sewing process altogether.

Missing a button on the front?  Just tuck my shirt a little deeper and no one will notice.

Missing button on the sleeve?  Simple, just roll’em up.  (Makes you look busy!)

I’m not going to let a few spare buttons ruin my day.

I have better things to do.

Like fixing a zipper that’s stuck.