MS Health Assessment

 

As one with multiple sclerosis, you may be familiar with the pre-appointment health assessment.

It’s basically a series of questions about your current condition, mood, symptoms, lifestyle…stuff like that.

The health assessment gives your caregiver a better understanding of where you are as a patient, how you are coping with your condition and alerts them of any potential problems.

 

For those reasons I don’t mind answering away—I mean, they’re for your benefit, right?

My problem with the whole process is that the questions are rather boring.

So I thought I would jazz them up a bit!

Enjoy…..

 

In the past 7 days:

 

I WAS SLEEPY DURING THE DAYTIME…

Never            Sometimes           Watching Dr. Phil is like taking Ambien

 

HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU FELT NERVOUS, ANXIOUS OR ON EDGE?…

Never         Sometimes         Always at the register when the person in front of me writes a check

 

I HAVE PAIN…

Never           Sometimes           Especially while reading My Odd Sock

 

In the past 7 days:

 

MS MADE IT DIFFICULT TO BUTTON A SHIRT…

Never           Sometimes           It’s why I am now a nudist

 

MS LIMITED MY ABILITY TO STEP OVER A CURB…

Never           Sometimes           It’s a pandemic, I haven’t left the house in months

 

MS INTERFERRED WITH MY ABILITY TO COMPLETE HOUSEHOLD CHORES…

Never           Sometimes           Dust & cobwebs make cheap insulation

 

In the past 7 days:

 

MY SLEEP WAS INTERRUPTED…

Never           Sometimes           Moved my bed into the bathroom

 

MS RESTRICTED MY PARTICIPATION IN SOCIAL ACTIVITIES…

Never           Sometimes           Again, it’s a pandemic there are no social activities

 

MS AFFECTED MY SHORT-TERM MEMORY…

Never           Sometimes           What was the question again?

 

In the past 7 days:

 

HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU HAD LITTLE INTEREST IN DOING THINGS?…

Never           Sometimes           Like getting a root canal, paying taxes & walking on fire

 

HAVE YOU HAD THOUGHTS OF HURTING YOURSELF OR OTHERS?…

Never           Sometimes           Only when trying to separate shopping carts at the grocery

 

BELIEVING I AM A BURDEN TO MY FAMILY…

Never           Sometimes           Only for the unlucky one who washes my underwear

 

In the past 7 days:

 

I HAVE FELT HELPLESS…

Never           Sometimes           Can’t open this damn jar of pickles

 

I THINK I WOULD BE BETTER OFF DEAD…

Never         Sometimes         If I see Tom Selleck hocking another reverse mortgage, I just might 

 

I HAVE FELT DEPRESSED…

Never           Sometimes           Someone hit Mega Millions and it wasn’t me   

 

Thank you for completing this assessment.  I am certain your answers will confirm you are unstable enough to be admitted to a rubber room—next to mine, of course!

Keep moving.