Brain Drain #27

 

Welcome to Brain Drain, the long-running bit where I let loose of things that disturb me.

As you may have noticed, this is the 27th edition, and the first since “Brain Drain #26” in February.

So either I am numb from annoyances…or nothing has happened in the world since then.

(I wish that were the case!)

Anywho, let’s get started, shall we?

 

LG Instaview with Craft Ice

 

Have you seen the commercial for this new ritzy frig?

I guess the LG InstaView is something special.  

Why?  Because it has a window in the door?  What’s the purpose of this?  I don’t want guests looking inside my refrigerator…They may notice the expired “Best by” dates!

“Doug, I think your eggs have hatched!”

That green, leafy thing in there isn’t produce–it’s leftover meatloaf!

 

You wanna see what’s in my frig, just open the damn door!

 

And the LG touts its “craft ice.”  Which turns out to be round ice cubes.  What’s so crafty about ice balls?  Big, round, icy balls.

I don’t want big balls in my drink.  I like to swirl my glass to hear the “clink” of ice cubes.  But you can’t “clink” big balls.  It’s impossible.

Oh and forget about chewing the ice.  There will be no more ice chewing on big balls.  Big, icy balls are a choking hazard.

For these reasons I will NOT be purchasing an LG InstaView with Craft Ice.  Thank you.

Let’s move on…

 

Mirror

The newest trend in fitness gizmos is the Mirror.

From what I understand, the Mirror casts an image of a virtual instructor who guides you through a workout.

It’s cool technology, but I’m not comfortable exercising in front of someone else.  Virtual or not.

I dress like a slob when I work out.  With the Mirror I’ll feel the need to get gussied-up in matching togs to look respectable.

Plus there’s too much pressure when someone’s watching me.  I’m clumsy & unbalanced.  I don’t need the added embarrassment.  Not to mention if my instructor looked like Denise Austin, I would be watching her more than watching myself.  (There’s a throwback to 80’s & 90’s fitness instructors!)

I’ll save my mirror for shaving if you don’t mind.

What’s next?…

 

Medicare Coverage Helpline

I cringe every time I see this commercial featuring football HOFer Joe Namath.  It is so poorly done even Broadway Joe seems embarrassed.

The producers have no B-roll footage to show while Joe is hawking the wares, so they simply scroll the EXACT copy he is reading.

A first-semester broadcast student would create a better message.  I may call the 800-number to request a new ad!

 

It is dreadfully painful to watch.  But like a car accident, you have to slow & take a peek. 

 

Lastly…

 

Waterpik Sonic Fusion Flossing Toothbrush

The Waterpik Sonic Fusion has been on the market for quite a while.  I have never used one.  And I would be intimidated to try.

“Brush and Floss At The Same Time.”

They make a bold statement.  That’s like patting your head & rubbing your tummy at the same time.

There’s a whole lot going on in your mouth all at once.

 

I have a big mouth.  A really big mouth.  Yet I’m not sure I could control all that activity in my pie hole.  I have enough trouble containing the Colgate while I brush, let alone floss too.

 

I would have water squirting, toothpaste flicking and saliva running.

The bathroom mirror looking like a dental crime scene.

There is no way I could use the Sonic Fusion while dressed.  I would sure as heck dribble spit & fluoride down my front.  My clothes would end up resembling a 1st grader’s art shirt.

I seem to be doing just fine with my lowly toothbrush & floss.  So I’ll stay the course.

That does it for this Brain Drain.  I would love to hear your two cents with a comment regarding these subjects or one of your own.  Drop me a line & spill the beans.

Till next time.  Be safe.  Wear a mask.  Keep moving.