Breakfast Collusion

 

Collusion is a touchy subject these days.

You can’t escape the buzz of collusion anywhere in the media.  And now collusion has infiltrated your morning breakfast table.

Yes, I am about to open the curtain wide…exposing the truth of collusion between cereal makers and those evil-doers threatening to sweeten the good part of your nutritious breakfast.

They are screwing with the classics by enticing cereal lovers like me by adding flavors & sprinkles that blur the line between breakfast and dessert…

 

…Like Fruit Loops adding marshmallows into the mix.

Why?  What’s the purpose?

Are the marshmallows there to cushion the sharp edges of Fruit Loops from scraping the top two layers of skin from the roof of my mouth?

Or have marshmallows been added to boost the sugar content, speeding tooth-decay to the half-life of Plutonium.

 

 

 

 

Another classic…Frosted Flakes.

Now they have Cinnamon Frosted Flakes.

What’s next, Chocolate Frosted Flakes?

 

 

 

They have them too!

It’s no wonder experts predict a chocolate extinction by 2050…I’m eating it all for breakfast!

 

 

 

 

How about a breakfast of Chocolate Lucky Charms?

You got it ‘cuz they’re magically delicious!

(This innovation is a good call as the Lucky Charms’ oatie things were the ugly wingman to the delightful marshmallow shapes.)

 

 

 

 

Need more proof of breakfast collusion?

Look no further than new Donut Shop cereal.

Donuts…in a bowl…for breakfast.

Much less messy than pouring milk into a box of Dunkin Munchkins.

 

 

Even the Girl Scouts are trying to horn their way into your mornings.

Get a load of this…Girl Scouts Thin Mint cereal.  (My dream come true!)

Oh, just great…now I’ll be accused of eating the entire box of cereal too.

It never ends.

 

 

Cookies for breakfast have long been a morning go-to staple.

 

 

To heck with the healthy oatmeal-raisin cookie…when you can enjoy a heaping serving of Nutter Butters!

 

 

 

 

Not fond of peanut butter?

They gotcha covered with Oreo O’s.

Instead of dunking one cookie at a time, Oreo O’s let you add the 2% to a whole BOWL of Oreos.

(Just think of the time savings!)

 

There is collusion I tell you.  From the nation’s capital to your breakfast nook.  It’s all buddy-buddy, wink-wink, backroom dealing, secret handshake collusion.

Will oatmeal, bran flakes or Maypo ever reclaim their stake?

Good morning, sunshine.