My Odd Sock: Shopaholic

 

 

A few among us may describe themselves as a “shopaholic.”

Though I am not a shopaholic per se, I AM addicted to scanning the ads to find items & advertising that are well beyond ridiculous.

Here are a few of my “must-have-NOTS”…..

 

 

 

Note to retailers & branding specialists:

Do not include the word “poo” in a product name.

“Poo” is short for something we all know is not pleasing to the nose.

Person #1-  (Sniff sniff)..”What’s that smell?”

Person #2-  “It’s a new fragrance…Poo-Pourri.”

Person #1-  (Gagging)..Smells like sh**!  I’m goin out for some fresh air!”

Announcer-  “Poo-Pourri…clearing the room of odors & everyone else.”

 

Need another example?

 

Move over Blistex, there’s a new player in town…..

 

How about some “Chicken Poop Lip Balm?”

Yeah, I wish I was making this up.  How stupid a name!

 

It claims to be “Made with natural oils.”

Hmm, let’s hope the “natural oils” aren’t from the business end of a chicken.

Be sure to get your balm today because with a name like this the company won’t be in business very long!

 

 

Lots of retailers are having big sales on fitness apparel.

 

 

In this picture, Kohl’s hired a unenthused model to strike his most unathletic pose.

 

Is is working out or standing in line at the DMV?

Looks like he’s channeling his inner flamingo.

Or warming up for a one-legged ass-kicking contest.

 

 

What’s next…..

 

 

 

Also from Kohl’s is this young athlete.

Wearing a “Beast” t-shirt…..and leggings!

 

C’mon man, you can’t be a beast…in tights.

 

Toughen up, Nancy.

 

 

Here’s a product we don’t need.

A “Portable” digital bathroom scale.

 

How many times have you been out with friends and wished ou had a portable scale to show’em how heavy you are?

Take it to the carnival & prove the weight-guesser wrong!

 

 

 

 

Your local CVS Pharmacy checks in with a clever ad about “Daypart Snacking.”

 

CVS offers healthful snacks as well as time of day reminders of when to enjoy the nutritious bits.

 

 

 

 

Fortunately…on the opposite page, CVS saves us with sweet treats to eat the rest of the day!

 

ALWAYS the perfect time to cram Skittles & a KitKat bar down the pie hole!

 

What’s next…..

 

 

 

Who doesn’t need self-tying water balloons!

 

You know, I’m thinking if you can’t tie a balloon…maybe you should leave the water for another day. 

Just too dangerous.

 

 

 

 

Finally.

Virtual reality is all the rage these days.

And now, you can join the ranks with this high-tech virtual reality viewer for less than a fiver!

 

Walk around with this on your mug to prove to your friends just how gullible you are.

Even the people playing Pokemon Go will think you look ridiculous.

 

 

Well my fellow shoppers, my fingers are covered with newsprint ink so it’s time to park this shopping cart & call it a day.  Guess I didn’t need that stolen credit card after all.