MS Commencement Ceremony

It was held-back the last time, so enjoy this graduation post one more time!

Tis that time of year when smiling, fresh faces cross the stage to receive their diplomas.

It is a time to celebrate not only, the hard work and commitment of years past, but also the enticement of what lies ahead in the future.

(Kinda sounds like MS, right?)

Did you know each day, around 200 people are handed their degree (diagnosis) of multiple sclerosis?

(Neurologists & drug companies wring their hands with glee!)

That’s why here at My Odd Sock, we (I) welcome you to the My Odd Sock MS Commencement Ceremony!

(“Pomp & Circumstance” begins playing)…..”Daa–Da Da Da–Daa Daa……Daa–Da Da Da–Daaa….”

(Public Address Announcer)….”And now, your commencement speaker….the noted, honorable…My Odd Sock!”

(Audience gags)

(Uncomfortable lull as it takes Odd Sock several minutes to stand and walk the lousy ten feet to the podium.)

“Good day and welcome everyone!

During this glorious time, we congratulate our guests who are about to receive their MS degree (diagnosis)….as well as those of us who have worked so hard in achieving advanced degrees of MS!

To those newbies, you are about to get the answer to your questions of “Why?”

“Why are my hands numb?”

Why is my eyesight blurry?

Why am I always tired?

The answer will be as clear as the urine that may have dribbled down your thigh (clear…as long as you are properly hydrated).

A ride in an MRI machine may have gotten you here, but now, you join a close-knit group who battle with others to get the last, remaining handicap parking spot at the mall.

Don’t dismay…as doors will open for you—as long as you push the blue, square button!

And your fear of needles will cease as you enter a world of multiple pricks & pokes about your body.  Yes, when I drink too much water, my rear-end sprays like a lawn sprinkler!

(Audience gags AGAIN)

I unsteadily stand before you…..so proud of your achievements!

Some of you have earned the honors degree of “Tysabri Cum Laude.”

Others are graduating with the distinction of “Spasticity Cum Later.”

While most of you will be awarded with your four-year “Baclofen-Laureate Degree.”

I congratulate you……And ask the staff to remove the throw rugs from the staging area…As graduates receive their degrees….And we salute today’s 2012 Class of MSers!”

(Thunderous applause) (Grads throw hats into the air)

*Remember, a dianosis of MS isn’t the end.  So hold you head up.  Keep moving.  And use what you have every day to the best of your ability!