My MS Evolution

As a species, we are evolving.

Taller.  Stronger.  Faster.

That is unless you are looking at those in the buffet line at Golden Corral.

“Would you like beef or ham?”

OK besides that, we ARE evolving.

Just take my word on it for shits & giggles.

But since my MS diagnosis back in 1996, I seem to be deviating from the rest of the human race.

Because when I compare my body stature to that of an evolutionary scale…..I seem to be going backwards.

WTF?

Bipedalism

For all of my formative years and most of adulthood, I was classified as a “biped,” or using two feet for standing & walking.

The pictured image of socks with sandals?

Hey, science cannot define my poor fashion sense–only my means of locomotion!

Tripedalism

It was several years following my diagnosis till multiple sclerosis finally began robbing my body of its sense of balance.

I was not a Weeble–I had serious wobble that needed more stability.

Hence the use of a cane (And a slide down the bannister of evolution).

I became a “triped,” described as any animal that stands on three legs.

Once you got used to it, being a triped wasn’t so bad.  Unless you had to hug someone.  Then you had to decide where to put the cane during the hug….Do you keep it in your hand & jam it into their back during the hug?  Or, do you prop it up against yourself prompting the other person to ask “Is that your cane or are you happy to see me?”  (True story)

Quadrupedalism

Even more years passed till it became necessary to add a second cane to my fashion ensemble.

Yes, I became a “quadrapod.”

Regressing further down the evolutionary scale was a definite blow to my modern man intellect (Family members will dispute the “modern man intellect” reference).

Being a “quadpod” took some practise to master the “Left front-Right rear, Right front-Left rear” rhythm of walking, but it’s all good now.

Yeah, I wish Charles Darwin was alive today to see how those of us with MS defy evolution.

We are definitely a strong and proud species all our own.