Brain Drain #21

“Brain Drain” is a chance to pull the plug on my cerebellum and empty all the dishwater that has collected and become stagnant over time

It’s been a long while since the last “Brain Drain,” so let’s get to it…..

Striving for Excellence

In today’s world, good isn’t good enough.  You must be perfect.

And the urge to be perfect is reflected in the variety of products being hawked on TV.

Take the “Perfect Pushup.”

This gadget allows you to not only do a pushup—but do it perfectly.

Personally, I would like to be able to do a pushup..ANY pushup..no matter if it was perfect or not!

There’s the perfect pet…..Perfect Polly.

This double A wonder bird doesn’t eat, drink or make a mess.

It’s perfect.

And if you’re like me (Let’s hope not), how many times have you wished you could create a perfect bowl of….bacon?

(Me?  Never.)

Well now you can with the “Perfect Bacon Bowl.”

Serve eggs inside your Perfect Bacon Bowl for a creative cholesterol one-two punch!

Or use a Perfect Bacon Bowl as a decorative Lipitor pill dispenser.

Yes, being perfect has never been this easy!

The Big Game

Sunday evening is Super Bowl 46, the biggest stage in all of sports.

Millions, if not billions, of people around the world will be watching.

Long thought to be a target of crime & deviant activity, the organizers of the Super Bowl work long & hard at security measures to deter such acts from happening.

And thanks to Sports Illustrated, every aspect of the security plan is spelled out in detail!

Wait, if the security plan is so “Top Secret”….how did SI get a hold of it?

It’s wonderful that any terrorist can walk into the corner Walgreen’s and pick up the issue with the “Top Secret Security Plan!”

Who is writing for Sports Illustrated….Edward Snowden?

Let’s hope Chris Christie’s staff is in charge of traffic control for the event as fans & criminals will never get out of Jersey!

Ad Placement

The key to any advertising campaign is reaching the target audience.

But the current work of the feminine wash product RepHresh falls way short.

One would assume RepHresh would advertise on female audience heavy networks such as E!, TLC or Lifetime.

But no, on many occasions, I’ve seen their spots on…..Comedy Central!

During episodes of “South Park” no less!

Even my teenage son thought it was out of place!

Now ladies, you’ll get your equal time when it comes to the “growing” number of E.D. commercials on television.

Heck, I get embarrassed watching this crap!

And why do Viagra commercials make me feel like less of a man?

They’re always about a guy wrangling cattle.  Hell, I have difficulty putting on my pants.

How am I supposed to build a fire when I can’t even light my grill?

And driving a hot rod?  I’m too busy sitting down to pee.

Thanks for the ego boost, Viagra.  Thanks a lot.

Ah, my brain drain is now complete.  All except for the annoying soap ring at the bottom.

But I do feel better.  And I hope you have found some relief through my bantering.

Because that’s what “Brain Drain” is all about.