My Odd Sock’s Not-So-Great Christmas Gift Ideas

Welcome to the long-awaited, highly-anticipated review of many of the oddest gifts, surely NOT to be on anyone’s gift list.

Let’s get shopping, shall we…….

First up, what child wouldn’t want this super-hero action figure…..with a bulging crotch pocket?

It’s in your face action, for sure!

Geez, does Superman carry his wallet in there or what?

And YOU can make the joke about him being the “Man of Steel.”  I’m not going there.

What’s next…….

Speaking of super heroes, here’s a kid standing all stoic in his new Spiderman pj’s.

Cool design and all.

The cape is awesome.

But, but…but the—the footies ruin the whole ora.

How can Spidey look cool in a “footed blanket sleeper?”

I would spin a web & hang myself if the other super heroes found out my jammys had footies!

Batman already thinks I’m a woos, wait till he hears this!

Loose the footies please!

Next….

Hey, who doesn’t love a hoodie that blocks your toddler’s vision?

Great for playing next to busy roads.

This fashionable hoodie makes any child want to live in a sewer just like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Who needs peripheral vision when you can dress as Michelangelo!

Let’s move on….

Stuffed animals are always a popular gift for kids.

Here, we have the life-sized “Mauling Bear.”

Yeah, he’s cute till it turns and slashes your guts with razor-sharp claws.

In this picture, the bear appears to be going for the throat.

The bear is also sizing up the easy prey of the little girl at the bottom of the picture.

Crawl away quick!!

(Babies are so stupid when it comes to bears)

Onward we go…

It must be the year for grappling stuffed characters!

Here, Sesame Street introduces what looks to be “Choke-Hold Elmo.”

If Elmo could only clear the boy’s arm & get behind–he could apply the sleeper hold.

But it seems the young lad has a tight squeeze on Elmo, forcing the red Muppet to fart as designated by the graphic design below Elmo’s backside.

An epic battle of control with this popular gift.

Next please….

Here are some nice gifts for the gentleman in your life…..if he’s a drunk!

Corkscrew?  Flask?  Wine tool?  What’s next an AA membership?

And what exactly are “Drinking Stones?”

Isn’t that what you get after years of boozing?

What’s wrong with a tie?

Moving on….

Let’s keep drinking with this “new twist on the old game.”

Is it necessary to improve on Spin the Bottle?

Was it THAT much of a hassle?

The engineer behind this could have their expertise to design a safer seat belt system…but instead, focused on Spin the Bottle.

Way to go!

Next….

This picture shows us all the delightful treats that are available.

Coffee’s, soda, chocolates, candy & popcorn.

Good thing they also sell Charmin & Bounty, because after eating & drinking all this junk, there’ll be plenty of diarrhea & projectile vomiting to clean up!

And lastly…

For our furry friends, here’s the “FroliCat Bolt” Cat Toy, the automatic laser toy.

Yes, what better way to vaporize your kitty than with an intense, concentrated beam of laser light!

It’s the same technology a podiatrist uses to remove corns & calluses from your feet.

(And hospitals use them to break up a patient’s “Drinking Stones” in the kidneys)

Well, that does it for “My Odd Sock’s Not So Great Christmas Gift Guide.”

Let’s hope you are now even more baffled by what to buy the folks on your list.

Happy shopping.