Odds & Ends

 

Please enjoy this “Best Of” (Worst of) My Odd Sock!

 

From the jumbled mess that is my “Idea” page—it looks as it’s time to get organized and clear out some disjointed thoughts & observations.

So, roll up your sleeves as we have some house cleaning to do!

 

 

                                       *          *          *          *          *          *          *

 

There’s A Flag On The Play

The humor referee has thrown a penalty flag for the mostly unfunny My Odd Sock post “The Cornhole Perspective.”

Yes, we have standards here–very low standards indeed—and this particular post fell far below the minimum laugh requirement.

 

                                          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

 

Sign of The Apocalypse

 

 

While shopping in a national retail store, I found this attractive ensemble.

There, before me, stood a whole rack of shirts…….with matching skull caps!

 

 

Use to be you could go to a local haberdashery and find a nice dress shirt with a complimentary neck tie.

But today?…….It’s a matching skull cap!

Oh, I forgot, I was shopping at “Grunge-R-Us!”

“Yo Bro..Dude, you shredded that half-pipe!  Man, that shirt and matching skull cap is da bomb!”

 

                                 *          *          *          *           *            *           *            *

 

Can You Identify The Suspect?

You have seen those height scales on the exit doors of gas stations and convenience stores.  There intended purpose is to give employees an idea of how tall a robber may be (should the situation arise).

 

 

But recently, My Odd Sock discovered THIS rather strange height scale at a local diner…..

 

It BEGINS at 3 inches tall!

Just who do they think is gonna rob them….Tom Thumb?  How ’bout the cast of “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids!”

What is the purpose of this ridiculously short scale?—in case a thief decides to “commando crawl” through the exit?

Maybe it’s useful if the robber is wearing heels.  “Officer, I’m not sure of her height, but she was wearing 3 inch heels!”

 

                               *           *           *            *            *            *            *

 

The Axe Factor

Axe has become a very popular brand of hygiene products; soaps, body wash, sprays, ect, among young men.

I live with two teenage sons, so my house smells like an Axe factory!

 

Pictured here is a bottle of Axe Shower Gel I found in my shower.

The scent is called……”Brazillian Hot Mud & Red Dragonfruit Extract.”

 

I scratch my pointed head and wonder—-What the hell is this?  And why would I want to put it on my body?

           “Brazillian–Hot–Mud–and-Red–Dragonfruit–Extract.”

There is not one word of this title that I find even remotely enticing!

Might as well call it….”Glass Shards and Turpentine Dingleberry Extract.”

I’m not gonna use that one either.

 

Lathering up with this stuff can’t be good for you.

The diagram on the back of the bottle proves it!

Diagram #1 represents someone showering with “Brazillian Hot Mud.”

Diagram #2 shows the same guy being escorted by two nurses to a hospital Burn Unit!

                            *           *           *           *            *           *            * 

 

So I think that does it.  We’re all cleaned up.

Now I just need some new ideas!

Be odd.  Be well.