Home At Last
It’s good to finally be home.
And good to be once again writing this rubbish called My Odd Sock.
I enjoyed visiting family as well as the sights of jolly ol’ England during the last two weeks.
Of course, always looking for new experiences, England didn’t disappoint as I would like to share a few of my observations…
Chuck It
It seems like everyone in England loves the trash can with the foot-operated lid.
Everywhere we went, everywhere we stayed…there were trash cans with the foot-pedal lid.
What’s the big deal you ask?
Well, with MS, your feet are as lifeless as a butcher store rump roast. Thus, throwing something away becomes an adventure in dexterity & balance.
It’s like trying to shave when your arm’s asleep!
I ended up using one hand to lift the lid, the other to pitch the trash, while using my head to lean into the wall to maintain my balance.
Cobble Bobble
England LOVES cobblestones. Cobblestone streets, crosswalks, sidewalks.
Unfortunately, wheelchairs do NOT love travel via cobblestones.
Good thing I didn’t have hemorrhoids because I got shaken like a malt at Steak ‘N Shake!
The vibrations of the rough road would send my legs into a spasm causing me to curl into a half-ass fetal position.
In fact, the dreaded cobbies popped a tire on my wheelchair forcing me to run on a flat for the last day & a half.
Oh well.
Potty Break
This sign gave me a chuckle. Thought I would share…..
Airplane Fun
Visiting England involved a six-hour plane ride that included several topics of interest.
First of which is airline food. Don’t get me wrong, the food was good on our American Airlines flight—it was the snack that made me cringe!
Who’da thunk this little package of “Tex Mex Nachos” could curl your toes by turning your breath into rancid roadkill.
Three hundred people munching these Frito-like snack wafers turned the cabin air putrid thick.
The person next to me exhaled in my direction singeing my nose hair.
I clawed at the compartment for the oxygen mask hoping it would open, but no avail.
I ended up in the airplane lavatory as it was the only source of “fresh” air!
Airport Stores
Don’t you just love those shops inside an airport?
Overpriced crap you don’t need or want.
Inside London’s Heathrow airport, I found a luggage store!
Wait, wait, what?
A luggage store? Inside the airport?
How friggin stupid is that!
The clerk was standing there, arms folded, with nothing to do.
No kidding. People in an airport already HAVE their luggage!
How many times have you seen someone wandering through the airport, arms full of clothes, saying to themselves….”Gee, I wish there was a place I could buy some luggage!”
Never. Because it’s a stupid location for a store!
That’s as ridiculous as the luggage named after Amelia Earhardt (It’s true!).
What credibility does her name lend to the product?
They haven’t found HER in over 70 years–how the hell are they gonna find my bags!
Phew, I need a vacation just to wind down!
Anyway, it IS good to be home. Thank you for your patience while I’ve been away.
But now it’s time to get back to the absurdity of life. Join me won’t you?
8 Replies to “Home At Last”
It’s great that you visited London! I went there in 2001, two months after 9/11, and I hung out with a U.S. Marshal on the flight over who was traveling incognito to keep an eye on some profiled passengers. (Obviously not too incognito since he told us he was a marshal!)
I was so impressed with the toilets in London. The flushing systems are so much better than ours and they use less water to flush. Some public bathrooms were gorgeous and sported a plaque on the walls boasting that it was a winner for cleanest and most beautifully appointed public bathroom of the year!
Everything in London is tiny. Narrow little lanes with tiny cars to fit them. Small hotel rooms, small everything. When I got back, climbed into my car at the airport and drove home, my car felt cavernous and the multiple highway lanes seemed like runway strips that could easily fit a jumbo jet. At home, my rooms seemed three times larger than before the trip.
My most lasting memory was the sight of a medieval castle standing cheek by jowl with a brick Victorian building and a modern glass and concrete office building. Windsor Castle, built by William the Conqueror around 1066, had a room still being restored after the 1992 fire. Nothing short of an atom bomb would topple that thing!
Did you take pictures? Hope to see you post some 🙂
omg, the toilet one is unreal. What, do they expect us all to roll down them (heck the road looked bumpy enough). And for those of us without wheels, guess we’ll take a slide and hope we don’t become our own wheels.
Thanks for the laughs, needed them a lot. 🙂
I know what it’s like traveling in these ‘older’ countries when you’re disabled. Did you also notice how many stores have a step-up entrance? Hope you had a nice vacation despite the inconveniences. Were you there at the invitation of the Queen?
BTW –all your ‘rerun’ posts never showed up on my Google reader!
Peace,
Muff
Kim,
Yes, the driving is crazy…and everything is much smaller. Funny thing about the toilets, I never got the hang of flushing the ones in the homes.
I visited Windsor Castle years ago, quite an impressive structure!
I laughed about your air marshall, yea it’s a secret alright!
By the way, next week I plan to post some pictures of my visit to Hadleigh Castle.
Muff,
No invation from the Queen. We even stood outside the gates of the Palace and she didn’t have the courtesy to come out and give me a wave.
I did get a wave from the Queen, REALLY. I went to London in 1976 with a friend from college. We went to watch the changing of the guard, and much to our disappointment it was cancelled. We found out it was cancelled due to the arrival of the French President, and there was gonna be a big parade to welcome his arrival. A nice Bobby told us the exact spot and time to stand for best viewing. It was real exciting and the Queen rode by in an open carriage and waved to me. At least I like to think it was me, and I got a picture.
What I remember about the toliets was that they flushed with a pull chain. That was 36 years ago, so not sure how it’s done today.
So glad I got to go to Europe before my MS diagnosis. Now, just going to Walmart is a challenge.
Hey Doug, wow an international traveler cool! I am about to take a vacation from my boys!! Traveling sounds fun but tiring, i really dont like to go far unless i have a driver. Welcome home we you were missed,
Olivia
Welcome home. It sounds like a neat trip. I’ve never been to England but I have seen the London Bridge. Of course it’s in Arizona now. Looking forward to your next blog. – Bob
Love it- laugh out loud funny as always!