Greatest Fear

Greatest Fear

 

 

Big bucket of "fear."
Big bucket of "fear."

 

When you receive a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis–fear becomes a big part of the equation.

Fear of the unknown.  Fear of the future.

Will I be able to walk?  Will I be in a wheelchair?

 

 

 

But as time goes by, your fear subsides.  It doesn’t go away…it just lurks in the background, only to surface now and again when you have a weak, emotional moment.

 

Some 15 years after my dx, I realize my early fears have come true!  I can’t run.  I walk like Otis from “The Andy Griffith Show.”  I use a cane.  And a wheelchair.

 

fear

 

 

With what appears to be nothing left to fear, I quickly recognize my greatest fear of all…..(No, not that Newty Gingrich wants to be president)…because of me, are my kids prone to get MS?

 

 

All of the literature says multiple sclerosis isn’t passed on by genetics.  Yet, the first question any doctor will ask is “Does anyone else in your family have MS?”

Holy crap!  What gives?

 

I would be devastated–absolutely crushed–mortified if my kids got MS because of my swell DNA.

And now I find myself closely watching them to notice any signs–any MS signal flares, that I experienced when I was their age.

 

My Odd Swami Sock
My Odd Swami Sock

It’s crazy, I know.

 

As a parent, I want the ability to look into a crystal ball (or a snow globe as pictured) to see into the future for their welfare.

Then again, even if I could see into the future, there is nothing one could do to change it.

 

I suppose my “greatest fear” is nothing different than what any parent, who has been dx’d with a disease, worries about on their children’s behalf.

 

Let me ask you—Do you wonder about passing MS to your kids?

Have you found yourself looking for signs in their behavior that reminds you of MS?

 

It is my “greatest fear” after all these years.  Maybe yours too.

sock

 

6 Replies to “Greatest Fear”

  1. Oh, Odd Sock, you do hit the nail on the head or the DNA on the helix… I worry constantly that my kids will inherit this MonSter. My daughter had a few neurological problems several years ago [tingling fingers,] but they seemed to have disappeared — the tingling, not the fingers. I keep trying to console myself with the thought that no one on either side of my family ever had MS, so maybe it results from the combination of genes. But the angst will remain.
    Peace,
    Muff

  2. Yep, a big fear of mine. I have MS and Lupus, neither supposedly passed on by genetics. Any time my daughter has a health issue, that FEAR of her having one or the other surfaces. I constantly monitor her health, very discreetly.

  3. I have thought about it. But right now I have other issues to worry about…
    I really like your swami sock. Maybe the swami sock has powers to de-feet the issue. Groan, I know, I tried to make you smile.

  4. I don’t have kids, but I’ve been watching my siblings closely since I first flared thirteen years ago. We are all in our fifties now so I’m relaxing on that issue a bit more. They’re all in excellent health.

  5. One of my worst nightmares to think of as well. And it scares the hell out of me. Especially to hear others in my family also have it. The MS Society Genetics page linked, states:

    “Epidemiologic surveys have determined that an individual’s risk of developing MS increases several-fold if a close family member has MS. While the average person in the United States has about 1 chance in 750 of developing MS, the risk for a person who has a parent or sibling with MS increases to about 1 in 40. MS. Thus, the risk increases significantly for a person whose parent has MS, but still remains relatively low.”

  6. I see I am not alone in worry!

    Thanks Speckled Brain for the stats..and for providing the link to the National MS site that backs up these figures!