Cane And Able

Please enjoy this old My Odd Sock.  The “Best of”…or “Worst of” if you will.  Enjoy! 

 

 

It was time to invest in a new cane.  My old one was a reliable partner, but it was beat-up and had alot of miles.

The shiny-new 2010 models were out, so I shuffle-dragged myself to the showroom.  I just love the new cane smell!

I was looking for a plain, black, non-descript cane.  The kind of cane that would allow me to enter a room silently, like a black panther.  (OK, who am I kidding—I walk like a black panther with three legs that have fallen asleep!)

The cane store had a huge selection.  I was confident I would find just what I was looking for.  But upon further investigation, I couldn’t find a black cane—not a white cane—or even one of those old-school silver canes!  No, every cane was bright & glittery and resembled a Jackson Pollack painting.  A Jerry Garcia acid-induced mind trip.  These canes were so loud they made Liberace seem lame.

Then, I saw a sign that explained it all…..

(Bleep)  Are you kidding me?  (Bleep)  “Life shouldn’t be dull and boring and neither should your cane.”  (Bleep)

I just want a plain, black cane!

“…zest for life.”  What is that about?  “Zest” is something I use in the shower!  (Bleep Bleep)

Look, my point is this, if you are 80 years old and stroll into the Legion Hall card party with one of these canes—that’s cute.  But I’m 46.  I shouldn’t be limping with a cane at all.  And I don’t want to call attention to myself with my fancy walking stick.  I want to blend into the room like a bad piece of wallpaper.

As a matter of fact, if DuPont made a wall paint called “Gimp,” I would smother myself with it—two coats!

 

 

Oh, go away “Funny Meter.”  Everything doesn’t have to be hilarious.  Geez, gimme a break.

 

 

 

Screw you “Funny Meter.”

Your father was a digital thermometer and your mother was a Richter Scale.

There, are you laughing now?

 

I can’t speak for everyone with MS, but we just want to blend in as best we can—with a plain, nondescript cane.  Not something inspired by the psychedelic 60’s.

Oh yeah, by the way, I found my cane at another store.  Happy walking!