Robo-Six Million Dollar-Iron Man

 

 

What do you call the morphing of “Robocop”, TV’s “Six Million Dollar Man” and “Iron Man” into one slightly-stooped human being?

It’s me—My Odd Sock and I’ve just taken another stiff step to becoming more machine and less human.

 

“We can rebuild him.

We have the technology. 

We can make him better than he was.”

 

Yes, soon I’ll be moving like the animatronic Abe Lincoln at Disney’s “Hall of Presidents!”

Of course, I’m talking about my new Dynasplint System foot brace!

 

 

Here’s the skinny on the “whys” of my Dynasplint:

Multiple sclerosis has tightened my leg & calf muscles so much, the toes of my feet point out like a ballerina…thus, causing foot drop, reduced ankle flexibility and a skinned forehead (fivehead in my case) from falling.

 

The amazing Dynasplint is a device that when worn, applies a constant, steady stretch to a particular muscle group.

My physical therapist believes that by loosening my calves, I should reclaim some range of motion in my ankle and improve my sloppy gait.

I completely agree with her theory and have taken the clunky, first step to a new me!

When I was pitched the idea of a Dynasplint, I thought it was a cruel joke.  A contraption that applies a constant stretch?—Sounds like a medieval torture device!  Something Dr. Evil would use!

 

 

At first glance, this unit is a fashion faux pas.  Big, bulky and cumbersome, the Dynasplint makes fashion expert Tim Gunn shudder in horror.  (Then again, I bet that guy is afraid of anything creepy-crawly!)

 

 

Picking up the Dynasplint ( and pulling your arm out of the socket in the meantime) you’ll notice its great weight.

 

Clocking in at a solid 8.4 pounds, you’ll be thankful you won’t be walking around wearing it.

Nope.

You see, the Dynasplint System is to be worn while you sleep.

 

Honestly, I never thought sleeping with a boat anchor attached to my lower limb could be so much fun!

The other night, the bed sheet became twisted amidst the metal bars and velcro.

I couldn’t move.

I felt like a wild animal caught in a leg-hold trap.

And I had to pee.

I thought about chewing my own leg off, but then calmer thinking prevailed and I methodically uncovered the sheeted carnage that was my bed covers.  (I made it to the bathroom—-barely.) 

 

 

 

Oh yeah, coupled with my jammies–it makes an attractive sleeping ensemble!

 

 

Despite my sarcastic commentary, I am getting use to wearing my Dynasplint System.  And it does seem to be lessening the tightness in my calf.  I’ve also noticed a slight improvement in the range of motion in my ankle.

That’s the intended purpose, correct?

I’ll keep you posted on the progress of My Odd Sock.  And if you can relate to MS’s handy work of toe drop, stiffness and range of motion problems, you may want to ask your doc if a Dynasplint would be beneficial .

Besides, I can’t be the only one working to transform him or herself into the next Robo-Six Million Dollar-Iron Man!